There have been some wonderful, thoughtful blog posts published recently discussing authenticity and vulnerability in the digital space. Reactions and responses have defended sharing, while others have advocated for better ways to engage in conversation online. A common theme running through these discussions was the many and varied definitions of online ‘noise’ and appropriate reactions to finding more clutter than content in someone’s Twitter feed, Facebook page, or other online profile.
In discussing the latter, the prevailing opinion seems to be encouraging others to block, hide, unfollow or ignore those posts, tweets, and pictures you no longer find meaningful or entertaining. While certainly a viable and reasoned response, I wonder how much this solution may hinder, rather than help, a students’ development.
The world of digital identity development is a messy, complex environment. What was once considered private is now public, with vacation photos clamouring for likes and retweets alongside the results of hard fought personal battles (a tough workout, a particularly bad day at work) or the clutter of professional works in progress (looking for resources to rebuild an interview process or wondering just how many students one can fit into the auditorium). While often benign and inoffensive or, at worst, tedious and overwhelming, there are times when we roll our eyes and shake our heads at what our students (or colleagues) choose to share on social media.
What are we teaching our students when we tell them that those who don’t agree can simply turn away?
As the great Dr. Seuss said “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind”. This quote is often cited as an ode to ‘being ourselves’ – a somewhat oversimplified yet still important part of what it means to be authentic. It implies what have chosen, for ourselves, who matters the most (or only) – who’s opinion and perspectives are most valuable as we experiment with new and different ways to share pieces of of ourselves online. Those who take issue with what we say, and how we say it, see their opinion matter less, if at all.
I know the issue here isn’t as black and white as I make it out to be, but these lessons are at odds with what we teach our students about ‘best behaviour’ in the digital space. Those that ‘mind’ what we post or share are, at times, the very people that ‘matter’ – potential employers, graduate school supervisors, colleagues, and friends. I find this line especially difficult to walk as I continue to grow in my own struggles with self image, confidence, and authenticity. As I become more of myself (at least, more of who I think I am and want to be), I too cling to Seuss’ axiom for comfort when others simply ‘don’t understand’. However, I must still be conscious of what I choose to share in my digital spaces, because I don’t always get to choose who ‘matters’.
Development is meant to be messy. If there isn’t some chaos or confusion, frankly, I don’t think you’re doing it right. However, we face a difficult dilemma as educators as students continue to redefine the notion of privacy, seeking attention and validation of the rapidly developing pieces of the puzzle that is their identity. This constant change is played out in real time; publicly, widely, and loudly. I worry that teaching students to be content with others unfollowing or blocking them if they ‘mind’ what they post misses the point.
The mess of identity development is contained and, sometimes, controlled by critical reflection. The online space offers new and innovative ways to share the what, who, where, and when, but the waters are murky when we wade into the why. While not all lost followers or blocked profiles are born from malicious or offensive intent, it is worth noting that we serve to only further cloud the process of identity development by asking students to think carefully of what they post and share, while also modelling that they can be easily ignored and forgotten if they make a negative impact, or no impact at all.
We don’t share pieces of ourselves, pages ripped from the work in progress that is our life’s novel, to be ignored. We teeter on the edge of conflicting extremes – not caring if someone doesn’t pay attention, but, in the same breath, wanting to be seen. With attention and validation so intimately tied to a developing identity, how will we teach our students, and each other, what matters, and who should mind?